Deciding how to legally divorce can be confusing, and the option of engaging in a collaborative divorce can be misunderstood. That’s understandable since it may be a very overwhelming and confusing time to be learning about divorce options and making major decisions that greatly impact one’s life. Some think collaborative law practice is similar to mediation, others assume it only works for couples who are already on good terms, and there’s even been some questions regarding whether or not the process is legally binding.
Myth #1: Collaborative divorce is just mediation.
While both approaches are working toward an out of court settlement, mediation involves a neutral third-party helping couples reach an agreement. Collaborative divorce, on the other hand, utilizes a complete team of professionals to work with the divorcing couple—lawyers, financial specialists, and divorce coaches—creating a structured, supportive process with a wealth of resources available to the parties.
Myth #2: It only works if both people get along.
Most divorcing couples have conflict and disagreement, some more than others. That is one of the reasons the collaborative process was developed. It is uniquely designed to help manage conflict and tension in a productive way, even if couples don’t get along and experience significant conflict. As long as both parties are willing to commit and stay in the process and negotiate in good faith with the support and knowledge that the collaborative team offers, the process works well—even for high-conflict cases.
Myth #3: It’s only for simple divorces.
Actually, collaborative divorce is great for complex cases. Whether there are kids, significant assets, or business interests involved, the process brings in financial and legal professionals as well as a divorce coach to ensure all aspects of the agreement are addressed thoroughly and in the best interests of the divorcing couples and their family’s needs.
Myth #4: It’s not legally binding.
Collaborative divorce results in a legally enforceable agreement, just like a traditional divorce. The only difference is that instead of a judge making the decisions, couples shape the outcome together.
At its core, collaborative divorce is about taking control and having the process work in yours and your families’ best interests – instead of leaving it in the hands of an adversarial legal process and at worst, a courtroom battle. Collaborative Divorce is an option to move forward with expert professional guidance, greater ability to manage the stress of divorce, more dignity, and fewer regrets—and that’s something worth considering.
Caren Rifkin, LICSW, BCB
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Board Certified in Biofeedback
Collaborative Divorce Coach
